Gather Together
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which Laxus unintendedly gathers the Strauss siblings and Thunder Legion together just to inform them that they have no families and know nothing about such relations. You know, because he's such a smooth talker and all. - One-shot, prequel to Motionsickness and Motorbikes.


"Oi, boss, I'm so glad you invited us all over to discuss this. It's a big step, yeah? And we should all take it as a family."

"I invited," the man grumbled as he sat at the head of his dining room table, a deep frown etched into his usually void face, "Freed over. And he told Evergreen about it, who told you, Bickslow, and the pair of you invited your Strausses."

All the way from the kitchen, where she was perusing Laxus' wine rack, Evergreen called, "I _did not_ invite Elfman and do not ever accuse me of such a thing."

"I invited him." Lisanna, who was annoyingly chipper, grinned brightly at Laxus. "This has to do with him too.

"I'm a man!" From his chair, Elfman raised an arm in the air. "I invite myself wherever I want to invite myself! Men don't need invitations!"

"They need to learn to use their inside voices," Laxus grumbled. "For one thing."

"Awe." Lisanna giggled. "You're already talking like a father, big brother."

Elfman, for some reason, nodded at this. "Papa did talk a lot about men, didn't he?"

"I was speaking to Laxus."

"You better not have been." Laxus made a face at the woman. "And to get back to what you said before, this has nothing to do with any of you. I asked Freed over to have a private conversation-"

"And I apologize," the rune mage finally spoke as he came into the room to take his place at the table, carrying a tray of sandwiches, which he sat in the center of the table, "for the misunderstanding. I only made a remark to Evergreen in passing and-"

"And if he's coming over here to talk about the baby," came the voice of the woman as she came to the table bearing a filled to the brim wine glass in one hand, "then we all should get a chance to have our peace, just the same as him."

"What are you talking about?" Laxus complained. "What peace? You morons aren't gonna get a say in anything that has to do with my baby."

"We get all sorts of says," Lisanna assured him. "The five of us will be, like, the most important people in his life."

"Me and Mirajane will be the most important."

"Debatable."

"Not really, Lisanna."

"She's right, boss," Bickslow insisted with a nod of his head. "Who's more important to a kid than his favorite uncle?"

"Considering," Elfman grumbled "he's only gonna have one uncle and he's all man-"

"Hey!" The seith glared across the table at the other man. "That baby's gonna need us both! All three of us even, Freed, Elfman! This world's a harsh place. Just because I'm his favorite, like, already, there's no reason to feel ashamed-"

"Perhaps the next baby will like you, should it be a female," Freed offered snidely. "You both can play with dolls together."

"There's nothin' wrong with dolls, man!"

"No one," Laxus grumbled to them, "is having another kid. I promised the demon one. And it's a boy. Which was what I wanted. So-"

"Don't be so sexist, boys." Evergreen made a face at all of them in turn. "This is the exact reason he'll need strong, female guidance in his life."

Lisanna held her head higher. "Yeah, he will."

"From me," the other woman specified, rolling her eyes heavily at the younger's self inclusion. "A real woman."

"What's not real about me?"

"Lissy is plenty real!" Bickslow had a problem with yelling that night as well, it seemed. "Every inch of her!"

"Would you all shut-" Laxus tried, but it was too late; he'd lost control of the group.

"Regardless," Evergreen pressed on, "he will need me far more than any of the rest of you."

"In what world?" Freed asked. "Honestly? Which one? Ever? Please specify?"

"He needs a man! And I'm the best one around," Elfman said, tapping at his chest. "Name another one!"

"Twenty-one," Lisanna responded.

"Eighty-one," Bickslow challenged.

"I don't… Ever, what are they saying?"

"Just shut up, Elfman."

"It takes a village to raise a child, regardless," Freed reminded then. "Favorite or no favorite, we must all ban together."

"Right." Lisanna was still glaring at Evergreen, far too confident in this act, but managed to say, "As a family."

This fell over the five of them and they fell silent, all nodding.

But the sixth person (and by far the most important, being the dang father and all) was not in a very good mood.

He hardly was, honestly, when the demon wasn't around.

"What do you morons," he carped with a heavy frown, "know about family? None of you even have any."

That time, the silence wasn't in solidarity.

At all.

"Oi, boss," Bickslow complained as the others all looked off uncomfortably. "That was uncalled for, yeah?"

"What?" Laxus snorted. "It's the truth. You-"

"It wasn't very nice," Lisanna informed him. "Like, at all."

"Men don't make jokes about other men's families," Elfman agreed with a nod.

Around her wineglass, his girlfriend added, "Poor taste, at the least."

"At the least," Freed muttered, not looking at his idol.

Huffing, Laxus sad, "I just meant that- You know what? No. I'm no the bad guy this time. You all just show up at my house, eat my food, drink my wine, and what? I'm the bad person for pointing out a very obvious lack of familial relations?"

When no one else said anything, Elfman looked around before slowly with a shake of his head, "No. You're just a bad person for being a dick."

Evergreen choked, once more, on her wine. "E-Elf-"

"He might be a dick," Bickslow retorted loudly as, no matter if the man had hurt his feelings or not, he was still his idol, "but he also used that dick to impregnate your sister. So who's really the one with yoke on their face here?"

"You take that back!" Elfman growled, glaring over at him. "Now!"

"Never!"

"How," Freed whispered softly, not speaking to particularly anyone, "is that an insult to begin with? To Elfman? I mean-"

"Don't yell at Bickslow, Elf." Lisanna made a face over at her brother. "He can't help the way he is. He's fighting addiction."

"Yeah! I'm- What?" The seith looked down at his girlfriend then. "What am I addicted to?"

"Maybe nothing, but Laxus sure is a dick to us." Then Lisanna beamed. "Was that one good?"

"All the hits, Lissy!" the man congratulated. "All the hits!"

"Would you morons just go?" Laxus was starting to lose his temper. "You're completely ruining me and Freed's meeting. And so what? You can argue with one another? Do it on your own time! At your own place! Me and Mira's place is no longer just gonna be a big hang out for you bozos. You get that, right? You can't just come here and hang out and avoid your responsibilities. Go to your own homes and do it, like normal people."

"How come I feel like that was mainly directed towards me and Lissy?" Bickslow asked after a moment. "Boss?"

"I feel unfairly singled out," Lisanna remarked. "And for your information, Laxus, we would love to go to our own home; we're just typically not too caught up on rent."

"Me and Mirajane aren't here to mediate shit for you people anymore either," the man went on as, once he was on a roll, it was kind of hard to get him off it. "All your stupid fights, breakups. Be adults. Adults work through their problems. They just don't call it quits when the going gets rough. And if they do, they certainly don't go back! If you're done with someone, fine, you're done with them; you don't spend another two years trying to convince yourself that you're done with them while living with them and-"

"Okay, we get it." Evergreen was rare to speak back to the man, but the wine was going to her head and his holier than thou attitude was beginning to get to her. "You can stop hammering it home."

"Wait, is he talking about the two of us?" Frowning, Elfman said, "I haven't spent two years pretending to be with Evergreen!"

"Uh, Elf," Lisanna whispered as Bickslow only snickered into his hand, "I don't think he's talking about you. At least with that part."

"My point," the slayer finally finished as he knew, should he continue on for too long, "is that my life is changing. A lot. The second Mirajane has that baby, you all are taken down a peg." Then he paused. "Except you, Elfman. You can't get much lower than the bottom."

As Bickslow and Lisanna snickered, Elfman only scoffed. It was his girlfriend that spoke though.

"The same goes for me as well," she remarked as, finished with her glass, she sat it down on the table while looking around it. "My life will change immensely."

"In what way?" Freed could be quiet no longer. "You will not even be able to watch the child on your own."

"I will so."

"You've already informed us all, many times, that you do not change diapers, deal with spit, drool, snot-"

"Neither does Laxus, I assume." Ever looked to the man. "Why should I have to then?"

Snorting, the slayer replied, "Spits fine. Shit's not."

"Be an adult, Laxus." Lisanna's was tone was mocking, but just in case the others didn't realize it, she was also making a face. "Your life is changing."

"That's why you have wooden babies, boss." Bickslow nodded his head towards Lisanna who, of course, had all five dolls resting in her lap. "They don't eat, shit, piss, or even really need attention! Just some of your magic. And you got plenty of that to give."

"Uh, Bickslow," Freed whispered softly. "Considering Laxus already has the child on the way, I really do not understand why you sound as if you are attempt to persuade him into….playing with dolls as well."

"I ain't just playin' with them, man, and you know it!"

"Stop feeding into them, Freed." Arms crossed over his chest, Laxus regarded them all in annoyance. "And if you idiots would just pipe down, I could get to the point of us all being here."

"Us?" Lisanna made a face over at him. "You're the one that broke off into a speech about how much we suck."

"In all fairness," Bickslow told her with a bit of a shrug though he didn't stop glaring across the table at Freed, "he does that on such a regular bases, I'm sure it comes pretty natural to him."

"Well, you are both fucks ups," Ever offered with a shrug.

That only got the youngest Strauss to make a face and say, "He was talking about you too, Ever!"

Elfman, growing agitated just in general, only frowned over at Laxus. "So what is it about my sister that you wanted to talk about?"

Refusing to let his eyes fall on his brother-in-law, the man grumbled out, "I's gonna talk to Freed about the plan."

"The plan?" Freed repeated.

Finally. Someone Laxus could speak with.

Nodding as he looked at the other man, he said, "Yeah. For when Mirajane...you know."

"I know?"

"You know."

"Well, I for one don't," Lisanna remarked with a frown. "When Mira what?"

"Wait! I can get this one." Tongue tumbling from his mouth, Bickslow thought hard. "Hmmm. What could Mirajane possibly be-"

"When she gives birth, you nimrods." Ever huffed before, glancing down the table at Laxus, said, "This is why you should have just invited me and forgone Freed all together."

Glaring over at the woman then, Freed said, "He obviously invited me because I can go ten seconds without a drink."

Evergreen, who had been poised to get up and go refill her glass, only sat back in annoyance.

The truth hurt.

"Anyways," Laxus went on, eyes still on Freed. "This is a very serious thing. We're about one month out now. I have a lot of work, up at the guild, that has to be attended to frequently. So when Mirajane isn't there, which I don't want her to be any longer, then I want someone to be here with her, should I be unable-"

"That's not fair! She's my older sister! I'm the one that should be here, so just get over it."

"Mira needs a man to stay with her! Like me!"

"The woman is so melodramatic. She isn't dying. People have children all the time. I mean, I don't, but-"

"Boss! I am an expert at babies. Look how good I am with mine! If your kid comes poppin' out early, I'll just possess him and make him crawl on back up inside Mira!"

"Would you all shut up?" Laxus seemed about to snap. "Honestly. This is why I invited only Freed over. We-"

"But it's not fair." Lisanna wasn't one to take orders from people whose names weren't Master or Mirajane. "Laxus-"

"I don't give a shit what you morons do." His voice wasn't so rough though, when addressing Lisanna specifically. "At all. If Mira's here or up at the bar and I ain't around, fine; hang around. Why would I give a shit? I'm just specifically asking Freed to do ti for me and to be there, no matter what. Not you flakes."

For a moment there was a grumble from the others before, slowly, the four of them all looked at one another kinda just agreed that, yes, in a battle of who was the most responsible and reliable, fine, they might not all be 'flakes', but they certainly didn't out rank Freed.

"W-What should I do? If she goes into labor?" the rune mage asked when it was clear the others were content (for the moment, at least). "Laxus? I don't-"

"Well, for one, you get in contact with me," the slayer complained, as if this should all just be common sense. "And you stay calm or whatever and-"

"You boil water!" Elfman said loudly, as if he were the one being spoken to.

He wasn't.

Ever.

At least not when Laxus was involved.

"For what?" Evergreen asked, making a face.

Sitting up tall, Bickslow said, "Obviously to dunk the baby in."

"Why?" Freed asked.

"You have to sterilize him some way," Lisanna said with a shrug.

Shaking his head and looking off, Laxus remarked, "I pray, every night before bed, that your parents sterilized every single one of you."

"Considering you said we never had parents," Elfman replied bitterly, "I don't see how that could have happened."

It could have been argued that Laxus directed the man directly for once (though neither would have liked the argument), as the slayer defended, "I didn't say that."

"Sure felt like you did," Lisanna remarked.

With a bit of a shrug, Evergreen said, "It was a tad hurtful, Laxus."

"You women have such thin skin," he critiqued. "And yeah, I'm talking to you too, Elfboy."

Over the sound of Elfman's rebuttal, Bickslow only muttered while rubbing the back of his neck, "Oi, boss, you could have said it a bit better."

And when he looked to Freed, to see if the man was still feeling as stung as the others so many minutes out, the way the guy only looked off told him all he needed to know.

"You all are so pathetic," he began in what, to most, would be the furthest from an apology possible, but at the moment, sounded about right, "that I forget how hard it is for you to take jokes."

Which wasn't an apology. Or anything close to it.

But it was an acknowledgment that he'd gone a step too far and that, in the moment, was all that any of them were truly looking for.

It was in the silence that followed, as they all sat there silently as if to soak in the moment, that it happened.

"Laxus! Are you in there? Open up!"

They all froze except for Lisanna who, standing up slightly, called out, "Natsu?"

"Lisanna?" And then the front door opened without the man of the house getting up to do so. If Laxus wasn't in such shock, he might have pummeled the Salamander for being so cavalier. "Good. You should come to."

"Laxus!" Someone else was with him too, of course, as he always traveled with his best buddy. Flying through the house, Happy quickly arrived in the dining room they were all situated in. "You have to come qui- Oh, wow! You should all come quick?"

"What's going on, Happy?" Lisanna asked as they all stood, Natsu skidding to a stop as he too arrived in the room. "Did something happen?"

"To Mirajane!" Natsu was the one that said that, immediately setting them on high alert. "She's gonna have the baby!"

"What?" was more or less the collective of the others responses, save Evergreen who only rolled her eyes and remarked something to the affect of how dramatic Mirajane had to be constantly and how annoying it was, while Laxus went from being shocked by Natsu's sudden appearance into being silenced by what had just left the younger slayer's mouth.

Landing on the table (and stealing one of the sandwiches Freed made), Happy nodded his head, saying through a full mouth, "Aye! She was up at the bar and suddenly started having contractions!"

"This is all so sudden." Bickslow was the first to try and rush out of the room. "I'm not ready to be a favorite uncle yet. I haven't even bought any cool uncle stuff yet! Like alcohol and extremely inappropriate movies. Boss, how long before you think I should be sneaking those to the kid?"

When Laxus, still only standing there, said nothing, Elfman only rushed after the other man. "I'm more than ready! Someone has to teach this kid to be a man!"

"Mmmm." Evergreen left her glass behind, on the table, retorting, "Perhaps we can put out fliers, asking for one to assist us."

"Hap, come on! Lisanna!" Natsu motioned for them to follow. "Maybe if I get there in time, I can con Mirajane into naming the baby after one of us!"

"His name is Torren and it better stay that way because I did not waste that money Laxus and Mira loaned Bicks and I to buy them a baby shower gift on personalized blankies with that stupid name on them for no reason," Lisanna grumbled, just about to head after all the others. "Those are nonrefundable!"

"Well, if you are to be believed, it was not your money to begin with," Freed pointed out, following. "You- Laxus!"

"Hey, Laxus, stop shoving," Lisanna complained as he pushed the two of them quite forcefully out of the way, trying to get out of his house as quickly as possible. "You big jerk!"

"I have to get to Mira! All of you get out of my house! I have to lock the door and...and… What else do I need?"

Bickslow, turning back to stare at the man, said, "I believe we spoke on this before about boiling some water."

And Elfman stopped at that, turning back to rush to the kitchen. "Oh yeah! I'll get to work on that! We gotta dunk the baby in it when he comes out! To cleanse him!"

Happy, who apparently wasn't out of the house either (at this point, Laxus was doubting anyone other than himself's commitment to being so), announced loudly, "Natsu! You can heat up water for the baby to cleanse with, right?"

"We can bypass that, little buddy," the Salamander said excitedly as, rushing after Elfman, his hands became ablaze with flames, "and get right to the real thing!"

"Oh boy," Ever remarked woefully from where Laxus found her also not leaving, but rather just heading over to his liquor cabinet (she was gonna need it). "We're gonna kill Laxus' son before he has a chance to truly live. Hope one of you knows necromancy."

"I carry extra babies bodies just for such an occasion," Bickslow assured her as, growling, Laxus finally decided to hell with getting them all out of the place; let it sit open, he had to get to his wife. "And wow! To have a new one be my own practical nephew of who I am the favorite uncle-"

"I have to get to Mira!" And, for some reason, even though Bickslow as not at all in his way, Laxus also had to shoot a bolt of lightning at him. Just to get some of his frustration out. "You idiots!"

"Oi, boss, that hurt," the seith complained as Freed, rubbing at his temples, only sighed.

"L-Laxus," he softly began. "Perhaps you should just use your Lighting Body magic to transport-"

And there was a flash that scared Evergreen and caused her to drop a very expensive bottle of liquor that, thankfully, landed on the carpet and didn't shatter everywhere. Not that Laxus cared as that flash quickly moved from the center of the room over to the cracked window, slipping out of it and out into the world.

For a moment, they all stood there.

"What happened to Laxus? I'm getting water on to boil!"

"Elfman, shut up," his girlfriend grumbled as she bent over to pick up the bottle. "Moron."

Giggling as she glanced around at all the others, Lisanna put her hand on her hips before saying, "Well, you guys wanna head on down to see Mirajane at- Wait, Natsu, where is Mirajane?"

"What do you mean?" He came back into the room as well, apparently recalling the fact that the baby was not, at the moment, there, and therefore unable to be set aflame in a ill fated misadventure in purification. "She's having a baby, Lisanna."

"Yeah, Lisanna. Dense much?" Happy came over to land on her head. "I mean, sheesh, where else would she be?"

"I didn't ask what she's doing, Hap," she said with a bit a frown. "I asked where she is. Is she still at the guild? A hospital? Where is she planning on having the baby?"

"Wait," Ever said around trying to unscrew the cap on the never before opened bottle. Staring over at the other woman, she asked, " _You_ don't know where Mira plans on having her baby?"

"Should I?"

"I mean, I thought you two told one another everything."

"Everything important."

"And her plan for having her baby was-"

"I mean, Bickslow and I have been going through a lot recently, okay? Being aunts and uncles. A lot of our time around Mira was spent discussing that."

Bickslow nodded in agreement. "We're very stressed about it, in fact."

Freed let out a loud, noisy breath which usually meant he was about ready to ditch them, before saying, "You all are impossible."

"I wonder where Laxus went," Lisanna mused. "I'd say the hall. Just in case. Or at least that's where I'm headed."

"Oh yeah! The baby!" Natsu took off once more. "We gotta go! Come one! Before we miss it!"

"Well," Freed admitted slowly, "statistically, she'll probably be in labor for quite some time. In fact, we could probably not show up for another six hours and still maybe miss it."

"So what you're saying is," Evergreen began as she shoved, finally, the liquor bottle off on her boyfriend to open, "that we could kill time doing anything other than being absorbed in Mirajane's melodrama?"

"She's having a child, Ever."

"Thank you," she agreed with the leader of her team. "That's what I'm saying. She's always making everything about her. You could think I could have a baby if I want? I could pop one out right now, no problem!"

The thought alone was enough to make Elfman squeeze the hand wrapped around the bottle a bit to hard and then there were shards of glass everywhere, a horrible stain and stench on the living room carpet, and a bloody hand.

"Elfman, you idiot!"

"I know," Bickslow agreed with Evergreen. "Wasting perfectly good booze."

"Gross." Tossing a hand over his sensitive nose, Natsu waved over his head as, finally, he left the place. "Come on, Hap. Let's try to get to the hall without getting lost, like one the way here."

"We didn't get lost." The feline bounced a bit as he left Lisanna's head, quickly following after his best friend. "You just forgot where Laxus lived."

"You can't forget something you never cared to remember."

"He has," Freed sighed as he went off to find where Mirajane kept the medical kit, "a point."

And Lisanna stood there for a moment, staring after the pair and know, once upon a time, she would have followed them. Led them back to the hall. Listened to Natsu tell her about how Mirajane was sitting up at the hall, watching Lucy take shifts for her (the woman needed some extra cash) with Kinana, when the contractions began. The blonde had sent him off on finding Laxus duty which, honestly, was not as easy as it would seem. And Lisanna giggle at his tales and Happy would make snide remarks as he flew above.

Just like old times.

But old times were just that for a reason. Because they were no longer. In current times, her place was with Bickslow, who would be put on picking up glass duty, only to, of course, cut his own fingers many times. All this would go on as Freed tried to help Elfman who would refuse because he'd have a meltdown over the fact that men didn't need medics, but at the same time, damn, wasn't it manly to heal? Evergreen would observe his quandary with disdain and attempt to pretend as if she were indifferent to his suffering, but she rarely was.

It was where she belonged then. To make sure Bickslow didn't actually hurt anyone when, tired of getting cut, he would decide to have his babies leave their wooden bodies and trap them in the shards, so that they could float all of them to the trashcan. This, of course, eventually turned into him having them chase Evergreen around the house as she screamed bloody murder at him and the actually bloody Elfman yelled about how men didn't terrorize women and it was just a mess.

One that Lisanna was, without a doubt, a part of though.

At the very least,, this kept all of them busy and allowed Laxus to arrive alone at the guildhall (though, given his method of transportation, he would have regardless). He was still antsy as he walked in, looking around for someone who might no where his wife was.

It wasn't so much that he didn't trust Natsu.

It was more than he absolutely didn't trust Natsu.

With saving the entire planet?

Fine.

With relaying a message?

In no way whatsoever.

"Kinana." His voice was a bit rough as he addressed the young woman behind the bar. "My wife-"

"She's upstairs, Master," the woman said with a bowed head. "In the infirm- Wait, Laxus-"

Shit. Natsu, that lucking fuck up hadn't fucking fucked up for once.

What a time to choose to be right about something…

"Mirajane!" After flying up the stairs and looking like a complete idiot, probably, in front of his newly gifted (hard fought for) guildhall, but he could hardly care. He got to her, anyways, without falling on his face or ass and that's a pretty big accomplishment, as he stumbled a bit, on the staircase, as he tripped over his own feet a bit.

"Are you alright?" was the first thing out of his mouth as he arrived in the infirmary to find her in there with Lucy and Erza, seated on one of the beds. Rushing right over to her, he reached out to cup her face in his hands, ignoring the bright grin she gave him. "Mira?"

"Laxus," she giggled as Lucy, always uncomfortable around that specific slayer, looked off, feeling awkward still years out, seeing him in such a display with his own wife. Erza though, arms crossed, observed silently. "Of course I am."

"Are you… Natsu said that-"

"Where have you been?" Erza asked him. "Lucy sent Natsu out nearly two hours ago now."

"What?" Laxus' hands shifted, so that he could wrap his arms around the still seated Mirajane instead, pulling her head into his chest, though his own eyes were on Erza. "He just showed up at my place, at the most, ten minutes ago?"

"W-Well," Lucy began slowly, rubbing at the back of her neck, "he's not exactly the best with directions...or memory...or most things."

"It was just a false alarm, anyways," Mira assured him with a bit of a grin. "I-"

"Did you go to a hospital? Did someone actually look at you? What do these morons know?"

"A lot, actually," Erza remarked. "But for what it's worth, she merely mentioned feeling a bit feint, I told her to come up here and rest and-"

"The cat said you were having contractions," Laxus complained as he let Mira go, so that she could stare up at him. "'Were you?"

"I told Natsu," Lucy began as Mira only shook her head with another giggle, "that if she did, he should probably have Happy rush him off to get you and he took it upon himself to go tell you anyways just in case. In the course of the two hours it took for them to find you, I guess, they-"

"Lied." Laxus frowned over at her and Lucy flinched back a bit. "They-"

"Laxus, how did you get here so fast?" Mirajane was finished with him talking about her, but not talking with her. Reaching a hand out, she grabbed one of his and moved to lay it over her belly. This got his attention as his eyes fell back to hers finally. "You said Natsu got to the house only ten minutes ago. Did you run? Or ooh! Did you ride your motorcycle?"

He tried hard not to vomit at the thought. "No. I used my magic."

"Awe." Mira seemed a bit deflated at the thought. "Then we can't use it to ride home."

"You're not riding on it regardless, so-"

"I could if I wanted."

"Cannot."

"Stop me."

He would. But arguing about how he would was pointless.

Instead, he addressed the other two.

"What are you guys doing in here then? If nothing was wrong?" he asked, still a bit on edge and, therefore, suspicious (both came as baggage, when you were a Dreyar). "Huh?"

"We were just talking, Laxus." Mirajane was trying hard to keep his attention as, she knew, his senses had been heightened in his worry and that had to be channeled out someway. Typically by picking a senseless fight. Not what she wanted to deal with at the moment. "Is that a crime?"

"Mira-"

"I just came to wake Mira up from resting," Lucy offered with a bit of a shrug, still trying slowly to slink out of the room. "And Erza came too. Seriously, Laxus, I'm sorry Natsu bothered you."

"I assume you were busy with something?" Erza questioned to which the man only frowned more heavily, recall that he still had to get back to his apartment where, hopefully, the others had dispersed, but more than likely had not. "Laxus?"

"Yeah." Taking a deep breath, he took a step back from his wife. "Something."

They stayed up at the hall for another hour before Mirajane wanted to head home, Laxus muttering under his breath that she better take a long look at the place, because she was _not_ going to be back until after she gave birth and Mirajane only blissfully ignoring his threats much the same as she always did in any situation.

"How are you morons still here?" he grumbled when he found Freed furiously scrubbing up blood, Lisanna and Bickslow furiously trying to hide from the wrath of Evergreen and Elfman respectively, and the seith's babies, now back in their bodies, zooming around at high speeds, apparently bored with the others and deciding to find their own fun. "I mean, honestly?"

Mira seemed thrilled, though tired, to find them all hanging around. And Gramps was back, as he stayed with them in those days, returning from whatever morning retiree things he had going on (nothing; he just hated hanging around the house with Laxus), but he hardly peeked his head out of his room, only doing doing so to shake his head at the mess and tell Mirajane that she should force Laxus to clean it all up.

But Laxus only went to sit on the couch, listening at the accusations and explanations started.

Something about glass and Bickslow's dolls and Elfman breaking things and the stench of liquor in the air wasn't so and so's fault, instead it was the other so and so's and bleh.

Just bleh.

"Really,," Lisanna began as Mira sat at Laxus' side, leaning up against him at times, taking it all in, "it's all your husband's fault."

Now the slayer caught that.

"Excuse me?" he asked with a glare. "How is it my-"

"He said," the youngest Strauss went on, "that we didn't have families and therefore knew nothing about taking care of Torren. You know, when he gets here."

"Yes, Mirajane," Freed finally spoke up, finished, it seemed, with the scrubbing of the floor. "What happened with your contractions? Are you not having the child today?"

As she shook her head, she only said, "No, but dragon, did you really say that?"

"Natsu said you were having the baby, not me."

"Laxus-"

"I didn't tell them that," he finally grumbled. "I told them that they knew nothing about family and-"

"And you do?"

"Mira-"

"Laxus, you don't even know what happened to your mother," she pointed out. "And your father tried to kill you. And Master-"

"I am home and I can hear!"

Mira smiled, off towards the hall where the yell came from. "Master did the best he could, is what I was going to say."

"So?" Laxus was beginning to get uncomfortable. "What's your point?"

"Me and Elfman and Lisanna had each other. Always. And before...before our parents always took care of us. Very well. So we already know more about family than you did," she pointed out as he only glared off.

Lisanna and the bandaged Elfman both nodded as Mira continued.

"And Freed, Ever, and Bickslow might not have had...the best lives before, but they're certainly a family to one another. Now. Even when you were an asshole to them, they always had one another. So they know more about it than you do too, I bet."

"Yeah!" Bickslow was quick to nod himself. "And my babies, Mira."

"How could I forget?" Especially when one was resting on her shoulder. "Bickslow is a very good father-"

"Don't," Freed sighed as Evergreen only rolled her eyes, "get him started."

"And Fairy Tail? It's a big family,," Mira went on. "And-"

"Okay, demon, I get it."

"Let me finish." Then she smiled around at all of them, ending on her husband as she said, "And the seven of us are a family to one another. Are we not?"

"Yes," Lisanna was quick to say while Bickslow and Freed both looked off, shrugging a bit. Elfman muttered something about how manly families are and Evergreen again repeated her statement of how dramatic and tiresome dealing with the other woman was.

"See?" This was enough of an answer for Mirajane, it seemed. "Laxus?"

Huffing a bit, he still refused to look at any of them, there, standing around in his living room, as he remarked, "I didn't mean it and you numskulls know it. Of course we're...we're..." And he sounded pained, but it still go out. "Of course we're family."

This was enough for Mirajane, ti seemed, as Laxus was finally allowed to escape, off to the kitchen with Freed, to finish discussing what they had been before while the other four stayed out in the living room with Mirajane, one asking about the baby, two arguing over just what constituted a favorite uncle, and the third debating whether or not she could pull off pilfering some more of her idol's alcohol.

"I suppose you are disappointed?" Freed asked him eventually. "That I did not make it down to the hall with you?"

"No," Laxus sighed, glancing out into the living room. "Someone had to stay here with those idiots. Or else they might have killed one another. Not to mention, it kept them from bothering me and Mirajane. Which is the last thing I want, when the baby does get here."

Bowing his head in agreement, the rune mage said, "They are...easily distracted, after all."

"After," Laxus agreed, "all."

And over dinner that night, which he and Freed went out to get not long after, of which all of them stayed and Master came out of his bedroom to join them having, Laxus had to admit with what to most looked like a grimace and yet was most certainly a smile at the sight of Bickslow and Elfman arguing over a drumstick while Lisanna and Ever both tried to remain neutral in the situation (which in Lisanna's case was to show no bias in her love for both and Ever to demonstrate her distaste for the two men equally) and Freed and Mira attempted to intervene peacefully, all knowing, in the end, the drumstick was most certainly the former Master's because, in Mira's house, every thing was, that even though they irked him to no end and were certainly at times the bane of his existence, they were his family.

After all, were those not all the qualifications?

* * *

 **Yall didn't think I was dead, did you?**

 **Anyways, this was a prompt someone on Tumblr requested, about Mira going into labor. But I already have a labor thing written up for Torren, which is who I wanted to write about, and it wasn't quite coming together, so I threw this together instead. It's been a bit, I think, since they all got together to ruin one another's lives and it was about time for that to happen again, don't you think?**


End file.
